I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
