Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
