My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
