Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just cropdusted the office
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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