OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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