Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
