we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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