I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
