Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
