I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
