nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
