Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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