RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
