I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i dont even know how to be here
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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