I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
