Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
