I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
