Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
