Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
