I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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