Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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