I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you will always have a special place in my vag
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
