idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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