umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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