Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
