He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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