You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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