so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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