i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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