I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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