it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
