I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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