U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
