you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
