You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
