I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
