Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have fence marks all over my body
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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