i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
