can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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