You're my little dorito
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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