the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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