just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
