Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
