Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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