Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
