i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
babies were throwing up all over the place
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
