Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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