the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize