Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
