I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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