i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
